Hahahha:))

Mi-am facut un test pe net, ceva cu varsta psihologica si rezulta ca am 35 de ani:))...Pentru cei care nu mai sunteti la curent: am inca 25 :))...Si nu sunt nici sociabila, daca nu m-ati vazut in ultima vreme, m-oi fi schimbat destul de mult:)), sau nu mai inteleg eu definitia lui 'sociabil':))...Ce mai, m-am infuriat de numa, ca, deh!, adevaru' doare! :)) si n-am incredere in nimeni:)...iar cu autoritatea...n-am nici o problema, am cel mai mare respect, de-asta aveam cele mai multe absente in liceu si eram amenintata de profi: 'nu te bag in bac'...:).

'Varsta ta psihologica este: 35 de ani. Ai multa energie si-ti place sa te implici in multe activitati. Esti echilibrat(a) si realist(a). Nu esti foarte sociabil(a), dar faci parte dintr-un grup de prieteni si ai un cerc de relatii pe care incerci sa le mentii. In schimb, daca se intampla sa cunosti persoane noi, iti este mai greu sa mentii legatura cu acestea. Nu-ti plac foarte mult schimbarile, insa poti sa te descurci bine atunci cand aceastea apar in viata ta. Increderea ta in cei din jur este limitata, stii sa le arati increderea ta, dar in acelasi timp esti pregatit(a) si pentru dezamagirile pe care ti le-ar putea produce. Respecti regulile si autoritatea pana in momentul in care acestea iti par irationale, iar atunci incerci sa le schimbi.'

Testul: aici: > target="_blank">http://www.portalroman.com/teste-psihologice/56-481357-229988.html

PS: I have done an online test, and it seems that my psichological age is...35 :)).

About the purpose

My posts have a dual purpose:

1. first, they relate me to the world, and usually these are the posts in English, but moreover, they are the posts with details and hints, things that happened during the week, people in my life, and other of the sort.

2. second, they relate me to myself, by having the psychoterapeutic function of a quest. Hence the boat, and the meaning of the story behind the boat picture: the connection between the hero and the subject, in this case, the 'subject' being the theme of the voyage. (Because the quest is not always a quest, sometimes it is a voyage? :)) )

I have been told, yet another time, that I forgot to write in English.

I did not forget, but I believe that some aspects are of no interest to the people reading my blog posts and that I can write them only to find a sense among the things going on in my head.

So, going back to the purposes:

1. I need to keep in touch and somehow preserve, maintain, develop and encourage the relations with the friends I have and who are reading my posts...one needs time to grow a friendship and time is something I do not have right now. But I need my friends and their input, so I try to make a communication compromise. What I am not happy with: the fact that I do not have the same chance of reading their blogs/potential blogs.

2. I need this space and method to find some things about myself. I chose to do it like this and I am aware that it is partly innapropriate. So I am trying to find a balance between what I need and what I can actually do on my blog. These are merely notes to myself, and therefore criptic and uninteresting for many of those reading the posts...

In the end, I cannot solve this English/Romanian issue:). Sometimes I'm merely too tired to be able to produce an English post, especially when I realise it's not gonna be too much use to anybody, anyway.

Despre lucrurile cu adevarat importante 1

Am noroc de prieteni faini. Si tot incearca ei sa-mi spuna ca ce fac eu este un 'fumat virtual' (ieri), un inlocuitor temporar nesatisfacator al lucrurilor pe care le vreau.

Adevaru-i ca nu-mi dau seama care sunt lucrurile cu adevarat importante pentru mine acum ('nu stii ce vrei'), si mai ales nu simt ca am energia sa infrunt astfel de intrebari. Asa ca prefer sa-mi ocup mintea cu tot felul de preocupari paralele lucrurilor cu adevarat importante. De unde si decizii de felul: anul asta vreau sa termin ACCA, hai sa incep si CFA la iarna. De bine de rau, aceste decizii ma tin ocupata si obosita mare parte din timp. Timp care trece, lucru pe care il discutam intr-un post precedent. Deci sunt un strut veritabil. Aspectul pozitiv al problemei este ca, momentan, nu ma tulbura cu-adevarat tot felul de dileme existentiale. Aspectul negativ este ca, in cele din urma, toate aceste probleme pe care le pun in paranteza ma vor prinde din urma. Sunt constienta ca pur si simplu unele lucruri nu pot fi decat amanate. Dar intotdeauna am gandit ca e mai bine sa ma confrunt cu problemele (sau falsele probleme) mai degraba mai tarziu decat mai devreme pentru ca, poate, in viitor voi fi mai bine 'echipata' sa le gestionez.

Tot acest intro vrea sa spuna ca m-am plictisit de invatat, ca merge foarte incet si ca o fac tocmai pentru ca mi-am auto-impus un ritm dracesc, greu de sustinut si in care sunt nevoita sa investesc toate resursele de energie si de timp. Cu mici exceptii, de exemplu timpul in care scriu pe blog, sau timpul in care prietenii mei dragi si de departe incearca sa ma aduca la o normalitate discutabila, reusesc sa ma 'imbat cu apa rece', cum s-ar spune.

Printre altele, m-am uitat aseara la acest clip:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=111129&title=loud-and-clear
la care am ras in continuu.

Si mi-am dat seama ca uneori aduc foarte mult cu cineva care se povesteste pe sine, dar nu in felul 'bun' al lui Julien Green Placerea de a te povesti tie insuti ci in felul 'nociv', à la Bush junior:).

Despre filme si alti demoni

Ieri noapte, dupa infrangeri succesive in decurs de 6 zile pe frontul invatatului la Corporate Reporting, mi-am spus ca n-ar fi rau sa 're-vizitez' un film care mi-a placut foarte mult: Sin City.

Mi-am adus aminte cat timp am cautat Jackie Brown pe Dc++ in vremurile glorioase din camin, cum am vazut From dusk 'till dawn intr-o noapte, si apoi n-am mai dormit deloc, cum am gasit din intamplare Reservoir dogs si abia apoi mi-am dat seama cine il regizeaza, cum dupa multi ani, am reusit sa ma uit si eu la Natural Born Killers si cum look-ul Umei Thurman in Pulp Fiction ma urmareste si acum. Ce mult mi-a placut Tim Roth in Four Rooms si ca de fapt eu inca nu am vazut Kill Bill 2...

Sin City este genial, evident nerecomandat minorilor:))...sau, ma rog, celor minori la cap:). Mickey Rourke e fascinant, a inviat Rutger Hauer, plus alte aparitii de staruri in roluri minuscule ca si timp in pelicula. M-am simtit, ca si prima data, sub un bombardament de senzatii, ca intr-un meci (virtual:) ) de box in care aveam mereu impresia ca trebuie sa ma feresc, sau ca trebuie sa ies din rolul de spectator, si totusi nu reuseam sa ma desprind de ecran. Aproape toate scenele sunt picturale. Coloana sonora, vocile din fundal, impecabile - in cazul lui Mickey Rourke, mai mult decat atat...

Ca si calup de regizor, singurele filme care mi-au placut la fel de mult ca si cele ale lui Tarantino sunt cele ale lui Scorsese:
The Gangs of New York
The Aviator
The Departed

Culmea, toate avand ca si personaj principal un actor a carui recunoastere vine dupa Titanic: DiCaprio. Si care are foarte multe proiecte cu Scorsese, dar are roluri foarte bune si in pelicule ale altor regizori, vezi (de ex) Blood Diamond.

Ca si interese curente, de vazut There will be blood, cu alt actor care imi place foarte mult, incepand cu The Gangs of New York: Daniel Day-Lewis. Si pe care l-am mai vazut doar in The Last of the Mohicans, spre marea mea rusine...

Imi vine sa rad cand ma gandesc la mine in anii de facultate. Ar fi trebuit sa-mi dau licenta in filmologie, dar din pacate prindeam mult prea mult filme proaste si ma uitam la filme pentru ca ma plictiseam cand mergeam la cursuri, nu pentru ca mi-as fi propus sa vad filme sistematic. Daca ploua, era in regula sa nu merg la scoala si sa vad intre 5-8 filme pe zi:). Colegii mei isi amintesc si inca rad de mine: ma vedeau numai la examene si rar reuseam nota maxima, pentru ca niciodata nu aveam note decente la seminar...In sesiune invatam in Dumars si cand era clubbing serios, pe la 2-4 a.m. vibrau mesele in cantina...Dupa care mergeam in Piranha.

Asa ca am vazut toate genurile de filme (toate piratate si de pe DC++, ca cine avea bani de cinema, cred ca am vazut in total 10 filme la cinema in cei 6 ani cat am stat in Bucuresti), incepand de la chick flicks pe care nu ti le mai amintesti in timp ce inca te uiti la ele, trecand prin filmele de groaza, pe care le vedeam cu Mon (care era fan) si la care ma uitam cam 10%, restul timpului fiind sub perna:), si nu in ultimul rand, primul film porno, recomandat de Mon...

Am vazut si A Clockwork Orange sau 1984 (pe care n-am reusit sa-l vad pana la capat, ca am adormit) sau An American In Paris ('Let's have some champagne, they're all a bottle ahead of us...'). Sau nu am vazut decat jumatate din Breakfast at Tiffany's, deci inca nu stiu ce se intampla cu motanul...

Cu retrospectiva asta, realizez ca daca in liceu am citit (tot asa, nesistematic si fara nici un motiv aparent), in facultate am vazut filme. Iar de cand muncesc, nimic.

Issues no 2

This is the no 2 of the series of 'Issues bothering me'...It concerns the fact that I find it very hard (sometimes impossible) to accept that things can unfold in a different manner than I want them to unfold.

Long story short: I can't accept defeat. I have a moment (more moments, or even a considerable amount of time for certain things in my life:)) ) when I cannot possibly conceive the fact that I cannot have what I want, when I want it or how I want it. Might seem a little bit frightening, I admit. That's why the title is 'Issues'.

I can, usually, find ways around these 'defeats' - they are only defeats if I perceive them as such and I can actually make a drama out of failing the driving test the first time:).

Speaking of which: I got a little scared picturing me at the wheel. I hope I will not have any major accident during my first year of driving, otherwise I will probably find it very difficult to get a decent third party insurance premium:)).

Paranthesis closed.

I am curious whether this second issue of mine really makes a 'control freak' out of me, or is it something perfectly normal, something that each and any of us faces in certain moments of their existence...

This issue of mine might have roots in the fact that I was somehow programmed (since I was very small) to always fight for what I wanted. I was told that there is no such thing as 'I cannot', there is only a 'I do not want to' and that it was not acceptable.

One of my former counsellors in PwC made a statement about me when she left the Company: looking back on some of our common assignments and seeing me 'in action', so to say, she said that the thing that she liked most when working with me was that, I quote:
'If the door is shut in your face, you get in using the window and still get want you went there to get'.

I took it as a compliment, might be problematic, though:)) (and the translations get from bad to worse:)), this is literally what she said in Romanian).
This 'compliment' can easily turn me into a freak, I need to carefully consider whether this 'issue no 2' is not something I want to amend... as it tends to get me 'fixed' on an issue, because it has a close link to issue no 1, when I actually can ignore everything else around a certain, current and stringent 'problem'.

0. Something is not right
1. Define the problem
2. Consider alternative ways to tackle the problem
3. Choose a way to tackle the problem
4. If successful, move to the next problem definition
5. If unsuccessful, try first another way to tackle the problem, if ok, follow 4, if failure, think outside the box and re define the whole approach, if success, follow4, if failure, fix on the problem and be stuck ...forever:)
6. the funny thing: when step 0 is multiple and the loop goes on until the fixing stage

Major issue: when a significant event in my life or a particular/specific circumstance gets me fixed on it ('it' can vary from men-significant and stringent- to professional-significant and stringent :)) ).
Chances for me to get over it: virtually inexistent:).

Multitasking

I have long wanted to discuss publicly a certain peculiar aspect of my existence...no, not that of the parentless child, this time:).

I am talking about the imposibility to focus on more than one thing at once. And one good example is the post concerning my hunger. If I'm hungry, thirsty, if I need to go to the toilet :), anything...I can't concentrate on other issues. One aspect can occupy the entirety of my brain. Unlike Napoleon or women, I can only focus on the task/idea at hand...Sometimes, it comes in handy, like for example when I need to study and it's noisy, when I need to work and people talk to me:), when I need to sleep and there's a party around (loud music, lights on and off, people:) )...maybe this last skill is more trained and acquired than native, I've actually developed it when I was in college and the bed was vibrating due to the music that was extremely loud...:)

I've kept wondering whether this is something I've learned to do or something that's an intrinsec characteristic...

Anyway, because I was hesitant in using 'wondering' in the above sentence and I'm still not sure whether it was the correct use:), I give u now a bit of one of my favourite poems:

1 Art thou pale for weariness
2Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
3 Wandering companionless
4Among the stars that have a different birth,
5And ever changing, like a joyless eye
6That finds no object worth its constancy?

And we can play find the author, although I'm not sure I shouldn't just input the name right now to avoid copyright problems later:)...

Funniest fucking stand up comedian

I have fallen through the cracks...:)) I have succombed to the benefits of TV watching:)), finally after 6 to 7 long years I have given in and ...well, you can evaluate the result:

I have discovered Lewis Black by watching Jon Stewart's The Daily Show. There is a section called: Back in Black:))...and I'm serious that he's the funniest fucking stand up comedian...took an Emmy in 2007 if you need any referrals.

Or, I should say, if you're easily offended and not open to listening to an enraged jewish man, you shouldn't watch any Lewis Black. Anyhoo :)), the best of, or at least what I think is the best of Lewis Black from what I've watched until now, is to be found in Stewart's The Daily Show. Just click on videos and then on the Lewis Black tag and you can navigate urself from there:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/tagSearchResults.jhtml?term=generic_tag_lewis_black&itemId=104871

There's a good crop of Lewis Black posts in you tube as well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_BRZoXjOmI&feature=related

Enjoy!

blogul despre foame

Cum nu am reusit sa mananc de ieri de la pranz (adica de mai bine de 24 de ore), acum nu ma pot gandi decat la mancare.

Asa ca am ajuns la urmatoarele concluzii:
1. Filosofia trece prin stomac
2. Dragostea trece prin stomac
3. Totul trece prin stomac
4. Ma duc sa mananc

BAH

Mi-am dat seama ca incep sa cam emit judecati de valoare si tot felul de opinii pe fuga aici pe blog. Tot timpul m-am confruntat cu problem de natura asta, motiv pentru care mi-am si restrictionat postarile de pe blogul precedent.
Intre a fi atenta la de emit (continut, dar si forma) si a nu-mi pune problema asta, pe deasupra tuturor celorlalte:), s-ar putea sa revin la o forma restrictionata.
Nu neaparat pentru ca imi fac griji ca aberatiile mele ar putea fi populare:), ci pentru ca...scripta manent:).

Cartea de autobuz

Pentru ca mi-am reinceput incursiunile la ortodont (lunare, ce-i drept), am reusit sa revin la conceptul de 'carte de autobuz'. La momentul actual, este vorba despre Thocomerius- Negru Voda. Un voivod de origina cumana la inceputurile Tarii Romanesti.
Din pacate nu cred ca am suficiente cunostinte de istorie si mai ales despre perioada respectiva (controversata, de altel), ca sa aprecize cartea la justa ei valoare. Oricum, chiar si pentru un neinitiat, aduce un suflu nou, o abordare aerisita si usor de urmarit. Despre problemele ridicate si despre veridicitatea surselor n-as putea sa ma pronunt, dar citind cartea asta imi formez sau mai degraba imi re formez imaginile generate de informatiile din scoala generala.
Existenta organizata a cumanilor pe teritoriul actual al Tarii Romanesti este demonstrata prin toponime si patronime. Oricum, geniala este usurinta cu care un cititor amator (si nu specialist) de istorie poate sa isi formeze o opinie (bazata pe felul in care teza cartii este argumentata).
Asta ma face sa-l suspectez pe domnul Neagu Djuvara de a fi un scriitor care se adreseaza maselor:). De unde concluzia mea ca este important motivul pentru care o carte este scrisa si impactul ei se masoara in functie de obiectivul (manifest sau nu) al scriitorului.
Ma opresc aici, pentru ca pasul urmator ar fi sa discut arta de dragul artei:).